Really Bad Single Mama
Here's a bad mama story for you....
Single mom with 5 kids ages 4 to 13. I babysit for her every once in a while and I've seen her interact with her children quite a bit. She constantly says how she wishes she had never had children and says this in front of her kids. Their house is beyond disgusting with food, toys, trash, etc. strewn throughout the entire house. She leaves the children alone for some period of time nearly every day and it's not uncommon for her to spend the night with one of her several boyfriends, leaving the children home alone all night. She doesn't seem to think there is anything wrong with this because she talks about it freely and doesn't try to hide it. I'm afraid that something is going to happen to these children while she's out or that these children will eventually be taken away from her.
I've included a picture of her daughters' bedroom so you'll know that I'm not making this sound worse than it is.
Single mom with 5 kids ages 4 to 13. I babysit for her every once in a while and I've seen her interact with her children quite a bit. She constantly says how she wishes she had never had children and says this in front of her kids. Their house is beyond disgusting with food, toys, trash, etc. strewn throughout the entire house. She leaves the children alone for some period of time nearly every day and it's not uncommon for her to spend the night with one of her several boyfriends, leaving the children home alone all night. She doesn't seem to think there is anything wrong with this because she talks about it freely and doesn't try to hide it. I'm afraid that something is going to happen to these children while she's out or that these children will eventually be taken away from her.
I've included a picture of her daughters' bedroom so you'll know that I'm not making this sound worse than it is.
20 Comments:
CALL CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES!
where does her daughter sleep? yes, please call the child protective services, this is completely unsafe. What if there was a fire and they were home alone? I'm surprised she even has employeed you to babysit if she leaves them home all the time by themselves. Please do them a favor and call and at least they can hopefully get placed with their fathers or other relatives who may actually want them.
Hi, this is the OP. I wanted to add some info that I should have included in the original post. I'm not a paid babysitter but a friend of the family that babysits, picks the kids up from school, takes them out to eat, etc. They really are adorable kids, even though the older ones seem to be exhibiting some behavioral issues. I try to do whatever I can for them but it's overwhelming.
To 10:07 - The 2 daughters have been sleeping wherever. Sometimes on the air mattress that can be seen in the picture (before the dog peed and pooped all over it), sometimes in the mom's room and sometimes in the living room.
I have thought about calling CPS but have hesitated because the childrens' father passed away earlier this year. I would hate for the family to be further devastated, but I'm also afraid of what will happen to these beautiful children. Does anyone know if there would be any way she could find out it was me that called CPS? I was even scared to post this because I wouldn't want anything to jeopardize my relationship with the kids.
I appreciate any advice and opinions I can get. Thank you!
I wonder if you could call CPS and ask? Or research it on the internet? for some reason I think if you ask to remain anonymous they have to go with your wishes, especially if you explain that you are a friend etc and just want what is best for the children. Especially because of what is shown, the children need a better place to live and if the older ones are starting to show behavior issues- they need to get in a more stable environment.
http://www.pcain.org/reporting_abuse.asp
This is for Indiana but it says you can remain anonymous and it is probably the same for most states. I saw other sites that said you can remain anonymous also.
You can call child protective services and they will protect your identity....the mom will never find out. You owe it to the kids to do this. Even though their dad passed away and it will be tough at first, the fact is, they need to be taken care of and obviously, they aren't. Just think of how you would feel if something happened to them while they were being neglected. Please, please, make the call.
This is a no brainer--you have to help these children. The mother will never know who called cps and it's not like she will be hauled off anywhere...they'll just make her take parenting classes and they'll make sure that the kids are taken care of..you know it's bad or you wouldn't have posted. Call. Today.
I hope you do something about this.
These kids need you to do the right thing.
My niece went through this very same thing and eventually lost custody of her children to family members through CPS. Regardless of the children losing their father earlier this year, they deserve so much better than what I saw and read on the original post. OP, if you don't call CPS TODAY, YOU ARE AS GUILTY AS THE MOTHER!!
OP what's the update? did you take action? I think the previous writer is correct--if you don't do anything, you're guilty too. Come on, you have a lot of people worried about these kids, please check in...
Hi, this is the OP again for an update. Here's what has happened since my last post.
I have been at the house every day this week and the situation has not improved at all. Since I never know in advance when she will be leaving the children at home alone all night, I have to base my complaint to CPS on the condition of the house. I took several more pictures so that I have proof that this is an on-going problem, not a one-time deal.
Yesterday, I found out that there are some issues with the middle boy. He told his mom that he didn't want to live with her and she told him that he wasn't going to live there if he was going to torture his brothers and sisters. This boy has been violent with his brothers in the past. I don't know the details of what happened yesterday but I'm hoping that my intervention will help him because I really feel like he needs some counseling or something.
A friend of mine who has seen the pictures has volunteered to call CPS for me and I've asked her to do that. Now if the mother asks if I called, I can honestly say that I didn't. That may seem cowardly to some of you, but this way I know that the situation will be investigated and I still protect my relationship with the kids.
Thanks for all your comments and I will update again when I have more info on what happens.
OP
Thanks for posting. Please follow through, you could really make a difference in these children's lives.....thanks.
OP, Please do keep us updated!
Sheesh, it's no wonder some of these poor children are showing behavioral problems... I think I'd have behavioral problems too, if my mom told me she wished she hadn't had me and kept animal feces on my bed... that is truly appalling!
Also, to anyone afraid to report to CPS, I had to report a horrible case I witnessed a few months back and it was the smartest thing I've ever done! I DID get to remain anonymous, and it DID help the children (who are now safe and happy living with their Grandmother!)
Please don't hesitate to report abuse people, you could save a life!
I think you really need to call.
Maybe they'll help the mom learn how to keep her house clean? Maybe you could help her get it cleaned up?
This is really unsafe.
As crazy as it seems, having a filthy house is NOT abuse and is not against the law. Leaving them alone however is. I am a CASA (Court Appointed State Advocate) for children and believe me- it breaks my heart to see children living in filthy homes- babies with cockroaches in their beds and rotting food on the floor- it just means nothing to the judge by itself. Unless you can PROVE abuse (extreme neglect requires a great deal of proof from several areas), they will not remove children. Of course this is an indication of other issues. I suggest HIGHLY that u call CPS the next time these children are left alone- they will come within 2 hours and your proof will then help the case.
Hey OP!
It's time for an update!
How are these kids doing???????????
thanks-
This is the OP again with another update. First of all, I don't know if CPS or other authorities have been by to check on the kids yet. The mom hasn't mentioned it but I doubt that she would. I'm inclined to think that they might have because the mom has told me that she's making an effort to spend more time at home with the kids. Not sure why it's such an "effort" though.
The condition of the house hasn't improved much but it seems like the kids are making some effort to clean up after themselves a little.
I found out recently that none of the kids even have toothbrushes, which is disgusting to me. So, I bought them all toothbrushes myself. I can't make them use them but at least I know they have them.
At this point, I think I've done all I can do. But I'll still continue to spend as much time as I can with the kids and be a positive influence on them.
OP
I'm glad those kids have you.
Stay in their lives, sounds like they are going to need a friend. Good for you for making a difference.
OP
Would you please let us know how these kids are doing now? Did they celebrate Thanksgiving??
thank you........
This is the OP again. Sorry to take so long to come back for an update.
I think the kids are doing OK and the family situation has improved a little bit. The mom has told me that she spends more time at home with the kids and they did have a good Thanksgiving with the mom's family. The house is still a disaster every time I go over there, so I guess that's not ever really going to change. Maybe I'm too anal about keeping a clean house. I just think it's a good example to set for the kids.
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